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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25664923">Sincerely Yours</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Epistolary, I blame the pandemic for this, It's basically an exaggeration of myself that gets to hold hands, Multi, Self-Indulgent</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:41:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,034</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25664923</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Letters between the writer character &amp; reader about love and sex, as an exploratory exercise by the author.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Reader/Undisclosed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Introduction</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Welcome!</p><p>Please, make yourself comfortable.</p><p>That’s mostly what this introduction is for: to make sure you’ll be comfortable with the content. These will be personal thoughts on love &amp; sex, explored through creative writing, as letters written by a character very like myself, to a partner with whom he’s in a relationship with, where they’re getting more &amp; more sexual.</p><p>I’d like to keep the reader’s sex/gender open to interpretation but, given this is all exploratory in nature, that may change; if so, I’ll make a note of it in the beginning and/or have the chapter title marked accordingly. For example, if specifically mentioning sex-specific body parts for a female reader, it'd be (M4F) and for a male reader (M4M). For the sake of simplicity, I'll keep the writer he/him, assigned male at birth.  </p><p>This is all relevant as my smut writing tends to get graphically descriptive &amp; vulgar. In fact, dirty talk (minus degradation and humiliation) is one of my favourite things to write. He’ll be talking about things he wants to do, and that he’s done with the reader. The reader will be referred to as <em>“You.”</em> Also, given the letter format, how personal the content is to me, and my attitude towards the intimacy of both of those, I will be signing them by name.</p><p>Please take these, and your level of comfort with these, into consideration. Other things to consider about the writer character:</p><ul>
<li>He’ll show a strong tendency towards topping, with a mild dominant streak. As of writing, I have no intention of having him in a relationship with power exchange or strong BDSM elements.</li>
<li>He’s an absolute dumbass in love with the reader, as well as dirty minded &amp; dirty talking. Beware whiplash in tone.</li>
<li>At times, he’ll ask the reader a question, seeking an answer. If there are comments with answers, whichever is most common will be taken as his partner’s answer in whatever follows.</li>
</ul><p><br/>If this all sounds like good, filthy fun, then I hope you enjoy.</p><p>Thank you for being my confidante in all this.</p><p>Sincerely yours,<br/>Bernard</p><p>PS don’t worry— we’ll start off slow.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I Want You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>First things first: It's you I want.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>For any sex/gender.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I want you.</p><p>If you didn’t know that already, you do now. Though I feel like I’ve made the fact abundantly clear in… in everything.</p><p>I mean, just the looks. Ones you’ve felt me giving you in public (the ones that typically earn me a stop that! of some sort), and ones I give you when it’s just us, breathless, the taste of you on my tongue, and that not nearly enough. The ones after you do something like run your hand slowly down my arm to let me know you’re interested, that I give you as, yes, I get your message. Feeling’s mutual.</p><p>More or less?</p><p>Three word phrases like these, they just mean so much. They can’t mean exactly the same thing for any two people, I don’t think. So this is me trying to make it a little more clear. It’s important. It’s me and you.</p><p>Whatever else I may get into, I’d like you to keep this in mind, first and foremost:</p><p>I want you.</p><p>I want all of you.</p><p>Every sight, every sound, every feel, your scent, your taste— everything. What you show off, what you hide. What you give freely, what I’ll have to push you a little for. All of it.<br/>I love all of you.</p><p>… Maybe the things you’re shy about most of all. I feel so grateful to be able to see those, I adore them, and I want you to know that. No shame with me, okay? Not one bit of you is wrong. Especially not to me.</p><p>This is all true. At any time. Anything we may be doing.</p><p>Whatever it is, whatever you want to call it: making love, fooling around, fucking like animals, that’s what it all comes down to. I want all of you, in every way, in any way, because I fucking love bringing out those parts of you. Seeing you.</p><p>I fucking love every part of you.</p><p>I won’t romanticize when I’m crazed for you, going hard and rough, rawing you with every pound of my being— it’s hardly romantic, I know.</p><p>(You know you love it.)</p><p>Point is, even then, that want, that need, as primal and animalistic as it is? Doesn’t change that I adore you. I adore how you react; how you fuck me back, if you scratch and bite the shit out of me, or you’re so overwhelmed you don’t even know what to do with yourself.</p><p>God, just thinking about it…</p><p>Sorry. I’ll rein that in. Got a bit carried away.</p><p>I get shy too, alright?</p><p>You’ve seen that. I… hopefully will get less embarrassed the more we get to know each other, but- I don’t know. Sometimes you just- you… You. You! Make all of me go a little crazy and next thing I know, I’m waving the white flag. I surrender.</p><p>Of course, other times, I surprise myself, how… insistent I get, I just- I want you so bad. I cannot wait to get to know you better that way.</p><p>Which brings me to a point I wanted to make. Any time we are getting intimate, there’s one thing I’m asking of you every time: Be here now.</p><p>Don’t even think about the destination. I mean it. Don’t you dare think about how close you are to coming, if you’re going to come— whatever.</p><p>All you need to think about is how you feel.</p><p>And if I’m doing things right, I’m making you feel <em>good.</em> But if not, I need to know so I can do you proper.</p><p>So. What makes you feel good?</p><p>I want to know the answer to that question inside and out.</p><p>Is it… the rake of my nails down your skin then the heat of my palms soothing up that does it for you? Or is it more the pads of fingers so light I’m barely touching? Which would get you squirming? Fuck, what it does to me, when you feel so good you can’t help but squirm. Goddamn. I need to find what gets you that way.</p><p>Though maybe you’re just not much of a squirmer at all? That’s perfectly okay too. Or it could be that you haven’t been before, but it’s in there. Somewhere. Just waiting for me to bring that out of you.</p><p>No need to be shy.</p><p>I don’t want you to hide a single clue, my darling, please. Whether it’s a gasp of “yes” or “not there.” Feel free to give me a little smack, even. Like when I won’t stop with a joke, even though you can’t stop laughing. I don’t mind. Your no is another part of you. Of course I want to know that too.</p><p>I want to learn your preferences. As they are now, before I get my hands all over them.</p><p>Naturally, I have my own. And we’ll find what best works for us both as we go. But I want to find out stuff like what you call me. You know what I mean. Not my name, not the public stuff. The sort that, hmm…</p><p>An interesting hypothetical for you. Just a bit of fun. Let’s say you asked me, “Please may I cum?” Generally speaking, you’d address me <em>some</em> way between "please" and "may," correct? I’m very curious about that.</p><p>I’m curious enough about everything, I’ll try to withhold my own preferences until after you reveal yours. I’m certain I’ll get caught up in the moment at times and forget. Admittedly, that hypothetical was based on one time, which caught me by surprise. I don’t really expect something like that to happen. Although. I guess I’ve gone and planted the idea in your head now, haven’t I?</p><p>I didn’t mean to this time, honest!</p><p>Okay, here, I’ll give you one. Truthfully, I almost said it last time, “Call me Sir.”</p><p>Still, will I say it softly, with a plea in my voice? Playfully, more of a, “Give it a shot?” Maybe when you’re driving me fucking wild and restraining myself makes that growl creep in my chest, take over? No room for argument.</p><p>Will you push back anyway, make me work for it?</p><p>Will you be eager &amp; willing? Already worked up, ready to say anything if only I keep fucking you, whatever you say really meaning “Don’t stop.”</p><p>
  <em>And what would you like me to call you?</em>
</p><p>I do have personal preferences there. I’ll keep those to myself for now. Of course, if you’re curious… it’s just a matter of answering first. If you’d indulge me, I’d like that very much.</p><p>After all, it’s one of those parts of you.</p><p>As long as you choose to.</p><p>That’s the last bit to what I’m trying to say. As important as it is, I guess I overlooked it since, well, you’ve told me it’s okay and to stop before, and I don’t mean to be repetitive. I guess it’s sort of nice that it’s ended up as the conclusion. Means it’ll stick with you, right?</p><p>I want all of you that you’re comfortable sharing.</p><p>Whatever wants and desires may be swirling around in my head, that’s what I need most of all: For you to be comfortable.</p><p>Any &amp; every part of you is safe with me.</p><p>Please remember that.</p><p>I don’t want anything that you don’t want. And I mean want, so much that every part of you is thrumming with one complete, utter yes.</p><p>Your yes is always the sexiest part. Your no is always the most important. And I want both.</p><p>Don’t ever question whether I want you.</p><p>I love you.</p><p>Sincerely yours,<br/>Bernard</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Takeout</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Honestly, I just rambled this out to stop feeling so damn horny so of course I started talking about food.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I'd love to be the author of your fantasies.</p>
<p>The one to build your desires into something. Into words. Into plans. With my own embellishments, my own style—which clearly must have been appealing to you before—but I kept the depths murky, didn't I? Not now, though.</p>
<p>It's only fair. I know I can ask a lot of you.</p>
<p>Not day to day, of course. I love that being together is just that; being ourselves, together. You're just adorable, and so full of surprises. I love that about you.</p>
<p>I mean nights, or moments that aren't night &amp; day; just ours.</p>
<p>When there's one thing on my mind: Getting you to make me your confidante in what you'd desperately hide from most. It's hard to let those inhibitions go. I know. I have to push and nudge a little, and trust that you'll say if it's too much.</p>
<p>I rely on your strength that way.</p>
<p>You know whatever we play at, you never really give anything up to me, right? I hope you know by now, the appeal's not like that I hold any kind of power over you.</p>
<p>I mean, we can play pretend. That can be fun.</p>
<p>I like real, though. Let's be real.</p>
<p>At it's best, when we're intimate, we're being raw &amp; wild in our emotions.</p>
<p>Sometimes other things.</p>
<p>I love your wilderness. Trying to control it wouldn't just be futile, it'd be cruel, it'd be… wrong. Just wrong. Unethical. Unnatural. It'd be forcing what shouldn't be.</p>
<p>I'm making a face now, you can probably imagine. You laugh at the faces I pull all the time.</p>
<p>Anyway, I guess force just isn't my way.</p>
<p>I know your skeptical look. And that you might be making it now. I get physical, yeah, but that's not what I mean. It's like…</p>
<p>Okay, you know when we order in- yes, I'm making a weird analogy again, bear with me- sometimes we end up ordering from separate places?</p>
<p>That makes less sense than placing one order.</p>
<p>But we're stubborn.</p>
<p>I don't want to give up on my mutton dish. You don't want to have anything from somewhere that at least has lamb. I don't force you to choose one of the places (like out of a dozen) that do. At most, I go, “Come onnnn,” all whiny, a lot.</p>
<p>Not really me at my best, but still serves my point.</p>
<p>My way of doing things is more about persuasion, discovery, finding the path of least resistance.</p>
<p>Just thinking about saying, “I can make you come,” or whatever sounds so fucking fake to me. I don't know about you, but I cringe a little.</p>
<p>You tell me you want to come though, oh honey, honey I fucking love how you reply when I ask, “Yeah?” and the way you look at me, when I lean in, when I say, “I can take you there.”</p>
<p>The smile on my face then is all real, all the time. I'm not playing.</p>
<p>I'm planning.</p>
<p>Just tell me when and where you want. I'll take care of how.</p>
<p>I hope you enjoy the ride.</p>
<p>Sincerely yours,<br/>Bernard</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Vanillish</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Letter writing boyfriend opens up on worries over the pace of the relationship &amp; performance anxiety. A bit goofier and a bit more real than the last two.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hey, hope this letter finds you well!</p><p>And that I've told you how wonderful/special/amazing you are within the last 12 hours! (If not, sorry for the oversight, and remember I'm in constant awe of you. If I spent my life searching the world for anyone else quite- wait)</p><p>These things are supposed to be for stuff that's hard for me to say.</p><p>I can tell you about that any time.</p><p>How do I start?</p><p>Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh okay.</p><p>So you know how I worry about whether we're moving too fast? Mostly about my part.</p><p>I agree with your take that most of time we were "just friends" practically counts. Even then, though, I rarely- if ever- got so close to anyone so fast. I know for a fact I can count on one hand how many people I've just clicked with right away.</p><p>I don't just mean how we talk about our lives together. Moving in, plans for the future… It's bedroom stuff too.</p><p>Honestly, it worries me more than I let show.</p><p>Remember how we talked about kink and what we'd be interested in doing after a while?</p><p>… Uhh. We've been getting closer to those ever since and it hasn't been that long. And, well… I'm not sure I'm ready.</p><p>As in for real, bottom of my heart.</p><p>(Don't listen to me when I'm horny.)</p><p>I have to be ready before I could risk any of that stuff with you, because- god. Just thinking about what could go wrong, I couldn't live with myself if I pushed you too far, too fast.</p><p>I mean, I'm still not sure I've entirely got the hang of vanilla sex! Well, like I said, it's been more uhh spiced vanilla.</p><p>Vanillish! I just remembered you saying that, man it still makes me laugh.</p><p>Just the sound of it.</p><p>Vanillish.</p><p>Anyway, it, it's not something I show a lot, or even much at all, but when I really think about it, I don't know how much of you saying it was good during pillow talk is honest and how much is just you being sweet.</p><p>I really want to think you're being honest.</p><p>It's not you I'm doubting so much here, too. You know how inexperienced I was going into this relationship.</p><p>I'm pretty sure I sucked more than you let show. Early on at the least, if not now.</p><p>I want you to know you can be honest with me, okay?</p><p>I mean, be brutally honest if you have to.</p><p>… If you <em>really</em> have to. Reserve it, but do use it.</p><p>I'm sensitive to letting you down, yeah, I… I really am. But I'd be letting you down- letting both of us down- most of all if you couldn't be 100% honest with me. On anything. Including whether I sucked in bed.</p><p>The bad kind of sucking.</p><p>Augh no, there's my habitual joking to feel better but this is important. It's one of those feelings I have to stay with, make peace with.</p><p>Hold on.</p><p> </p><p>Okay. That wasn't as bad as I thought.</p><p>See? I can handle it. If there's anything I can do better, please talk to me.</p><p>I promise you won't hurt me. I know you, you know how to say when there's an issue in a way that gets through to me. You know me, I'm not that fragile.</p><p>It's why we work.</p><p>And why we can play, for that matter.</p><p>I'm not sure whether this is my over thinking, self doubting too much thing, or my surprisingly insightful, seeing what most don't thing.</p><p>I need you to honestly let me know.</p><p>It's one of many ways I need you. And, even if it's tough for me to ask for help even when… I really <em>badly</em> need to ask, it's uh still not easy, but <em>easier</em> for me if it's you.</p><p>Cause I trust you. You know that, right?</p><p>I like to be the protective one so you make me so, so hard in my pants <em>and</em> so, so soft in my heart when you tell me I make you feel safe. It's only fair that you know,</p><p>You make me feel safe enough with you.</p><p>I really hope reading that has sort of the same effect on you.</p><p>The heart part at least.</p><p>The arousal part is questionable for most people, I know.</p><p>The point. Back to the point.</p><p>Tell me if I suck in bed.</p><p>Tell me if I don't suck, but you want me to try something different.</p><p>Don't worry about telling me what you feel I do well. I hear you tell me, with or without words, loud and clear, and holy fuck is it rewarding.</p><p>Help me give you more to say that way, won't you?</p><p>I look forward to us speaking again.</p><p>Sincerely yours,<br/>Bernard</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Reminders</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I use &gt; for important bullet points on paper.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Reminders, for nights you're totally mine:</p>
<p>&gt; Get loud.<br/>
&gt; Move at will.<br/>
&gt; Touch yourself &amp; me freely.</p>
<p>Unless told otherwise. In short:</p>
<p>&gt; Don't keep yourself in.</p>
<p>If you forget: <em>Listen to direction.</em></p>
<p>I don't give direction often. Most of what I say are suggestions. They give you some leeway. That's different.</p>
<p>With direction, I make clear exactly what I expect. I haven't had to repeat myself much. You've been good.</p>
<p>I want to keep it that way.</p>
<p>This isn't to worry you. You can't do wrong by me.</p>
<p>Consider this a tangible reminder.</p>
<p>Sincerely yours,<br/>
Bernard</p>
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